Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Confessions a la Clover Lane

I read the funniest post today, and thought about what I would say if I had my own confessions.  So here they are you lucky readers!  (Sarcasm.)

1.  I have a game I play in my head every so often. I don't think anyone else plays this game. At least, that is the sense I had when I told my husband about it the other day. It's only taken 12 years for him to know how weird I am. Anyway. The world has been sucked through a black hole, or something, and doesn't exist anymore.  And each person that used to be on the Earth has to say one thing they wish would be on the new Earth.  And if no one says it, it won't be there.  And you can't say a person, because that doesn't count.  And how could you pick just one person? So I alternate between the choices of green grass, blue sky, clouds, rain, and the ocean. I have a hard time making up my mind. I think it's my way of being thankful for the amazing things that are right out my front door each day.  I always feel a bit surprised and quite thrilled at how pretty our world is each day when I step outside.  We are so very lucky to live here.  (And by here, I mean Earth. Not Vancouver, Washington specifically. Although it is very pretty here too.)

2. Earlier this year I declared in my head (In my head! Ha, that doesn't work! I should have declared it to blogland. That seems to motivate me better.) that this would be the year of unfinished projects. I would take one project each week and finally FINALLY finish it. Then I realized that between nursing, reading stories, laundry, playing with playdough, fixing meals, coloring, changing diapers, fixing snacks, blah blah blah, that it wasn't working. But you know, this still might work. I won't give up on this one yet. Just writing about it makes me excited about the idea again.

3. I tried to cut my own hair about a month ago.  I cut my husbands, I cut my Mom's once in a while (just trimming), I have cut my FIL's, and my Dad's.  I even cut my sister Elizabeth's.  That was a bit of a disaster (sorry Betsy!) but I didn't remember that part until later. So, why not mine?  I even pretended and "practiced" in the mirror before I tried it.  I thought about the way I would do it, and how I would be slow and methodical.  And then I looked like...oh gosh, I don't know- it was just soooo bad.  I stopped at one point and put the scissors down and laughed maniacally at myself.  And then I picked them up again, thinking I could fix it!  What is wrong with me? Then I tried to have my husband fix it, that didn't work.  He's a good hubby for trying. And so for a week or so, I had it up in a loopy ponytail so no one could see what I had done until I could get a proper haircut from someone with training for gosh sakes.  And my stylist?  What a nice lady.  She didn't laugh at me.  At least while I was there.

4. My bum is gone. My front appendages (you know what I am talking about) fell down in my first pregnancy with Molly, and that was sad. They used to be a little (oh who am I kidding, a lot) perkier, and I thought, well, I knew that was coming. Everyone warns you about that. But no one warned me that my bum would flatten out in a pregnancy! It used to have a cute little pop to it, but now, it is quite flat after my pregnancy with Jack.  None of my old pants fit me correctly anymore. Today I was thinking about how I wished I had a "before" picture. Of just my bum. In clothes of course. So I knew what I wanted it to look like again. Like I wouldn't recognize if it was there again? Ha. I have to google how to get it back. I mean google what exercises to do. Maybe it just wanted to join my front appendages by going south too. Sigh.

5. I stack up newspapers I haven't had time to read and won't let my husband recycle them until I have read them. This must drive him crazy. But I feel like I will miss some news that I should know about, and so I keep them and read them, and even though it is months later I learn about what is happening in the world. Or rather, what happened in the world.

6. I hoard candy from certain holidays.  If you open my freezer a few months after Easter, you are likely to find Cadbury Mini-Eggs.  And if you open my cupboard a few months after Halloween, you will see candy corn.  It's like I think the world's supply will dry up and someone will decide that we shouldn't make those candies anymore for these specific holidays and I would be so sad and so I must buy extra and hide them in my kitchen just in case. I used to buy extra Cadbury Creme Eggs and freeze those too, but one year I bought like, fifty?  And after that I thought ENOUGH, no more of those.


  1. I do the newspaper thing too. Those other things - you're just weird. ;-)

    And I like the unfinished project idea, but maybe just one a month is ambitious enough!

  2. This gave a good laughntonight! Thanks!

  3. We have all had to wear our hair in the pony-of-shame. I wore it for all of September until my 12 year old cut it for me. Thank you Youtube instructional videos!


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